Save The Dolphins
by AlternateAnything
Summary: Hiatus. cross dressing AU Iruka has to cross dress to help Anko broaden her scope of fans. Everything goes on normaly, well as normal as things can get with Anko, until Iruka catches the eyes of a porn reading Hatake. Main: KakaIru


Iruka frowned at Anko, arms crossed while he leaned deeper into the passenger seat. He felt like she was kidnapping him, the feeling growing more pronounced as she kept talking. Finally, he just had to interrupt her.

"Wait, so what you're telling me is that you want me to cross dress?" When she opened her mouth to try and justify it, he held up a hand to her. "You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend to keep your boys away?"

"Pttf," She scoffed at him and turned onto an unfamiliar road, "Please, that'd be stupid, don't you think? I simply want to _broaden _my scope, ne? You see, I'm bi, right, but with all this guys following me around, all of my potential fan girls are scared away!"

Iruka groaned into the hand he was pulling down his face, not paying attention to where they were going at all. "Why can't you just get _another _girl to pretend?"

A pout formed on her face when she parked her car next to a sidewalk and got out, Iruka followed her and a few feet from the car, she whined. "The only other friend I have that's a girl is Isaribi and she's going to University in Ame!"

Iruka shrugged, allowing her to drag him into a store who's name he'd never heard of. He didn't mind that it was an all girls store, or even recognize that their products were more feminine that anything Isaribi—let alone Anko—would ever wear. However, Iruka was oblivious and his mind decided to ignore the fact that maybe they were there for him.

"Haku!" Anko yelled, waving her arms in the air and Iruka turned to see a brunette woman smile and gracefully walk towards them.

"Konnichiwa, Anko-san!" The voice was oddly androgynous and she turned to Iruka and bowed. "Momochi Haku, pleasure to meet you,"

"Oh—ano," Iruka awkwardly bowed back quickly, "Umino Iruka,"

"What a strange name for a woman." Haku muttered, but turned away from them before Iruka could correct her.

"Calm down, Ruka-chan!" Anko hissed when his face went red, "I told Haku you were a woman that liked to cross dress as a man, Kami! He thinks you've finally seen the beauty of female dress."

"How could someone mistake me for a woman? I'm totally ma—wait a minute, he?"

Anko giggled and hooked their harms together by the elbows, leading towards a clothing rack, "How could someone mistake him for a woman, ne?"

The color changed from red to pink and he smiled sheepishly. "Whatever,"

She smiled and reached for a navy blue tunic just as Haku walked up to him with a bag in hand. He smiled and shoved it into Anko's arms.

"Since Iruka-san is not well endowed, I decided to give her a little—help."

When Anko looked into the bag and laughed, jerking it away from Iruka's snatching hands. "Ah, ah, _ah, _Ruka-chan, it's a surprise."

Haku giggled into his hands and pulled out the same tunic Anko had been reaching for. "This will look lovely on you. Oh, but Iruka-san," He grinned after seeing Iruka eye a pink blouse. "Stay away from pastels—they wouldn't do anything good for you." (A/N: I'm just guessing here, people)

Iruka nodded and smiled half-heartedly at the other cross dresser before watching him go over to talk to another woman in similar clothing while another customer came in. All the while, Anko shoveled clothing into Iruka's arms and he took it, not finding the backbone to further argue with her. Besides, Anko had been his best friend since middle school and there was a reason why they hardly ever fought. Iruka didn't mind compromising, or in other words, bending to Anko's will, but only Anko's will. Partly because she was his best friend, both mostly because she was so _scary. _

She shooed him into a dressing room and tossed in Haku's bag along with it, "You better put the 'help' on, or else!"

Iruka tilted his head to his side and peaked into the bag while pulling his closed off.

His legs almost gave out on him.

He pulled out a blue one and puzzled at it, before yelling, "An-_ko, _I don't know how to put these _on!" _

"Kami, Iruka, yes you do!" She yelled but her head still popped in from underneath the stall door and she slid into the dressing room. She pushed a piece of purple hair out of her dark eyes before turning to Iruka and roughly showing him the procedure that he watched with wide eyes before he was standing there in only lacy panties and a water bra.

Anko nodded to herself before once again leaving Iruka to get dressed by himself. He groaned all through pulling on what he decided was a green dress that only came a few inches above his knees and had a hole in the back. Women's clothing was so _weird. _

He spent hour after hour coming out of the dressing room only for Anko to clap her hands happily and grin, fake leering at him. It was horrible. When he finally got to collapse into the arms of the leather passenger seat, he fell asleep cradling a bag of clothing.

* * *

When Iruka woke up, it wasn't in his apartment, or Anko's apartment. He woke up in a _dorm _room with voices hanging over his head. He jumped out of bed, from under the covers surprisingly neat and looked up to see Anko staring at me with eyes full of mirth. He was still in the water bra and was only wearing a large t-shirt. He glanced behind her to see the two men—boys?—standing behind her.

"Oi, Genma, Raidou, say hello to Izumi."

The shorter one, with a scar on the left side of his face bowed while Iruka scrambled to his feet and returned it, but the other long haired, bandana wearing one just smirked and nodded. Then Iruka looked around, suddenly embarrassed because his name wasn't Izumi.

"Izumi-chan," Anko bantered on, pulling him towards her by wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Stop blushing."

The pink only spread and he realized that _he _was Izumi. "S-Shut up,"

Iruka then mildly wondered, if this was a girl's dorm, then what were two boys doing there? The taller, rude one evidently was a mind reader.

"Don't look so scandalized Zumi-chan." He drawled, messing around with the toothpick in his mouth. "The headmaster doesn't care, as long as nothing's destroyed again."

"Again?" He squeaked but Anko only grinned.

"Izumi's here to get her degree in Education." She had the nerve to hook the arm around his neck and kiss him on the cheek. "She wants to teach kindergarten."

"That's so sweet." The shorter, friendlier one that Iruka decided he liked better commented. "Right, Genma?"

Ah, so now he got to be able to differentiate them.

"Whatever you say, honey," He beamed and wrapped an arm around Raidou's waist.

"What're you studying for, Raidou-san?" He asked, deciding to ignore Genma.

"Oh, Sociology," He replied quickly and Iruka nodded, hopelessly trying to pry Anko off of him.

"Well," Genma smirked, "At least now we _know _who the man is in this relationship."

"What?" Iruka blinked and glanced around the room, taking in the empty bed on the other side of the room, and the furniture that he suspected was his. Even if he'd never seen any of it before that day. "Who?"

His smirked widened, "Anko, duh,"

Raidou elbowed him in the gut. Yes, he definitely liked Raidou better.

_A/N: This is a list of the top ten Japanese Expressions I'll be using throughout the fanfic. I know that some people hate using words like these in fanfics, but these ten, a couple of small stuff—Hai, Iie…etc—and honorifics are the only things I'll use, promise. So, here they are, courtesy of: _

www (dot) dummies (dot) com (slash) how-to (slash) content (slash )ten-favorite-japanese-expressions (dot) html

**Yatta**

(yaht-tah; I did it!)

Say **yatta**when you accomplish something big, receive a great opportunity, or feel victorious. Passing a difficult test, getting the job you wanted, or winning the lottery — these all qualify as **yatta** material.

**Hontô**

(hohn-tohh; Really?)

Say **hontô** to confirm what you've just heard. Suppose your colleague tells you that she's getting married to your boss. Respond to the news by saying **hontô.**What if your friend says that he'll give his car to you for free? Say **hontô** before saying thank you. You can say **hontô**in a lot of situations in your daily life because so many unbelievable things happen every day.

**Â, sô desu ka**

(ahh, sohh deh-soo kah; Oh, I see.)

Say **Â, sô desu** **ka**every time your conversational partner provides a new piece of information. You need to acknowledge each new bit of info by saying, _Oh, I see._Be sure to nod as you say this expression. If you talk casually with a Japanese person, you may use this phrase 200 times in one hour.

**Mochiron**

(moh-chee-rohn; Of course!)

This is the favorite adverb of confident people. Use it when you're 100 percent confident in your opinion. If you were a married man, how would you answer this question, posed to you by your wife:_Would you marry me if you had a chance to do it all over again?_ A word of advice: Don't think about it; just say **mochiron**to her because you only live once, and you'll never actually be faced with the decision.

**Â, yokatta**

(ahh, yoh-kaht-tah; Oh, good.)

Say **Â,** **yokatta**every time you feel like saying _What a relief_or _Oh, good._ If you're Mr. or Ms. Worrier, you may say **Â,** **yokatta**ten times a day:  
Did I turn off the stove?  
Yes, you did.  
**Â, yokatta.**  
My daughter was kidnapped!  
No, she's right there behind you.  
**Â, yokatta.**

**Zenzen**

(zehn-zehn; Not at all.)

**Zenzen**is the phrase of denial. Suppose that someone asks you, "Am I disturbing you?" when they're not bothering you at all. Say **zenzen** and shake your head. Suppose that your spouse or friend asks whether you understand why he or she is so mad. If you don't have any idea, say **zenzen,**if you have the courage.

**Nani**

(nah-nee; What?)

**Nani** is a question word. It's handy when you talk with a Japanese person. Say **nani** when you don't hear or understand what the other person said.

You can also say **nani** when you can't believe or don't like what you hear. For example, your fiancée suddenly announces, "I'm getting married to Tom." If your name is Frank, you can surely say **nani.**That's assuming you have the ability to form words at that point.

**Dôshiyô**

(dohh-shee-yohh; What shall I do?)

Say **dôshiyô**when you're in a panic and have no idea what to do. You can repeat it over and over while you try to think of what to do: **Dôshiyô, dôshiyô, dôshiyô.**Now, you sound like you're in big trouble. What happened? Oh, you've locked your car door with your keys and your coat inside?!

**Â, bikkurishita**

(ahh, beek-koo-ree-shee-tah; What a surprise!)

Say **Â, bikkurishita**when you're very surprised. Is your family known for throwing surprise parties? If so, say **Â, bikkurishita**after they shout out _Surprise_ on your birthday.

**Yappari**

(I knew it would happen.)

Sometimes you have a vague suspicion that something will happen, and then it actually happens. At times like that, say **yappari.**Suppose that you haven't received a newspaper for the last month, but the newspaper delivery person says that he has dropped it off in front of your door every day. One day, you wake up earlier than usual, and you see your neighbor picking up your newspaper. If you had a suspicion that your neighbor was up to something, say **yappari.**


End file.
